There is a lot of talk about abolishing the 14th amendment. This talk is mainly coming from Republican Conservatives. They are telling you that it is nothing more then a loophole for illegal immigrants to drop "anchor babies." Well, if you actually support this movement, then you have been convinced by the rhetoric and fear mongering to think against your better interests.
The 14th amendment does more then say that anyone born in the US is a US citizen. It protects your rights from being violated by the state you live in. Here is the text of section 1 of the 14th amendment.
"All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."
Still think that the Republicans are right in saying, "get rid of the 14th amendment?" Still think its a good idea to allow the state you live in to deny you all the rights granted to you by the constitution?
Its original purpose was to protect freed slaves. But that does not mean it doesn't also protect everyone else as well. Too many people want to tell what they think the founding fathers "intended" and then take away your rights.
But wait, there's more...
Section 2 of the 14th amendment states the following:
"Representatives shall be apportioned among the several states according to their respective numbers, counting the whole number of persons in each state, excluding Indians not taxed. But when the right to vote at any election for the choice of electors for President and Vice President of the United States, Representatives in Congress, the executive and judicial officers of a state, or the members of the legislature thereof, is denied to any of the male inhabitants of such state, being twenty-one years of age, and citizens of the United States, or in any way abridged, except for participation in rebellion, or other crime, the basis of representation therein shall be reduced in the proportion which the number of such male citizens shall bear to the whole number of male citizens twenty-one years of age in such state."
So, you still think its a good idea? You know, to get rid of your right for "fair" representation?
We're not done yet. Section 3 of the 14th Amendment
"No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any state, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any state legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any state, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability."
You think its a good idea to allow previous enemies of the United States to run for and hold governmental office positions? Those who want to abolish the 14th amendment do...
Section 4 of the 14th amendment.
"The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned. But neither the United States nor any state shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States, or any claim for the loss or emancipation of any slave; but all such debts, obligations and claims shall be held illegal and void."
Uh oh...looks like those who want to abolish the 14th amendment also want anyone who is owed money for defending the nation to get screwed over. They also seem to want those who are traitors to the nation to be paid for their service of domestic enemies....
Its a sad day when you have to be told that you are thinking against your own interests by giving in to the fear mongering of the government and media. They make you afraid of the immigrants babies and convince you to allow your state to take away your rights and freedoms.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
The little things.
A recent post by no less then two friends on facebook, who do not know each other but somehow linked the same story none-the-less, has cause me some unease of temper. When reading the story, getting the feeling that it is a work of fiction, I find myself almost offended by it. So, I'll tell my own story, how I learned the same lesson, and perhaps those who read it can at least understand why a great lesson watered down by rhetoric and fear tactics offends me personally. The following is absolutely true, as I remember it.
She wasn't the most physically attractive woman on the planet. She was certainly not rich in money either. But I loved her more then I have ever loved anyone before, and since. I know this to be true because before I met her, I really didn't know how to love; that is one of the many things she taught me.
She was disabled, had become so by way of a terrible car accident. She was in the hospital for months before she was well enough to be released. I knew her before the accident, had worked with her briefly at a retail store. She worked in the section with the towels and other bathroom accessories. I worked in electronics. We had a lot in common, as far as interests went. She liked to read fantasy novels, stories of daring knights and powerful wizards. So did I. So, we became fast friends. Then, she left the store, and I saw her very little afterward, and eventually not at all.
It was through a mutual friend that I had heard about her accident, but it was not until she had recovered some. I found out what hospital she was in and decided to pay her a visit. I brought her flowers in a crumbled glass vase. You could tell she at least liked the vase. We talked for a couple hours, then I had to go. I wasn't able to visit her again.
A few months after that visit, she came by the store. She did not get out of the car because she was unable to use her legs, let alone walk. She was embarrassed by this and being bound to a wheel chair. So, I went outside and said hi, talked for a few minutes, then got back to work.
One day, a few months later, my relief was a half hour late getting in. I was upset by this to say the least, because it was slowly turning into habit. As soon as they arrived I rushed to turn in my cash drawer and be on my way. While driving home I saw a lone woman pushing herself down a busy road in a wheel chair. I watched her as I passed by and saw that it was my friend. So, I stopped and offered her a ride, which she graciously accepted, fussing over how embarrassed she was. She gave me directions to her house and as we drove, caught up on what we've been up to. The thought of how I would have missed her that day if my relief had showed up on time did not escape my notice.
After dropping her off, I started to go home. She had given me her phone number so we could keep in touch, and I promised I would call. On my way home, I got lost. After two stops for directions, I finally made it to where I knew where I was. Unfortunately, I couldn't remember how to get back to my friend's house, but I had her phone number, so no big loss.
A couple days went by and on my day off, I decided to call her. A man answered the phone, and when I asked for her, he seemed bothered by it, and told me she wasn't home. (I found out later that he liked her, but they had never dated, he was a friend of her mother's who was staying with her to help with her two kids). I asked him to tell her I called, and he said he would. I never heard back from her. So, I assumed the man was her boyfriend and didn't want to call again, risking upsetting the balance of their relationship.
Life went on, I found a new job making a lot more money, working for a rent to own furniture store. I liked it because I was able to leave the store and deliver furniture every day, all day. One day, after about a year of working there, I was on a delivery run with a coworker. I missed a turn so pulled into a parking area for an assisted living apartment alcove. Something about it seemed familiar, but I attributed that to having delivered furniture to people living in such places. Then I saw her, my friend, sitting outside in front of one of the houses reading.
No time schedule or coworker protests could have kept me in that truck. I jumped out and nearly ran up to her. She didn't recognize me at first, but about ten feet or so from her she did, and then she stood up! I was surprised by that, and that is when I noticed she was sitting in a lawn chair, not a wheel chair. The last year had gone by so fast, I hardly recognized how long it had been since I last saw her. We talked for about ten minutes, and exchanged phone numbers. I told her now that I know the area a lot better, I would not fail to visit. I did not fail to notice that had I made my turn, I would have not run into her again. Coincidence started to look like fate after a while....
I stopped by for a surprise visit on my next day off. She was shocked that I had actually showed up. We spent the day together, I got reacquainted with her kids, who had grown quite a bit since I last saw them. Over the next few weeks, we grew very close, and ended up dating. That turned into being in a relationship, which eventually ended up us living together.
Living with her, I was a lot closer to work, so I would come home for lunch. Eventually it came to me calling before I left work, and she would have a sandwich made before I got there. She made the best sandwiches. No, I never expected her to make them for me, but she did it anyway. When I'd get home from a particularly rough or busy day, she would rub my shoulders. There were even times she would rub my sore feet; after I washed them of course. All the while, listening to me complain about my rough day. Imagine that, being disabled, barely able to walk, listening to how long someone had to be on their feet...
On my days off, she would still make me sandwiches, even offer to make them when she wasn't making one for herself! She would rub my shoulders on the days off too. After being treated so well, I finally asked her why she did these things, when I was perfectly capable of doing them myself. After all, she was still disabled. She said it was because she loved me. I was thinking that it should be me doing these things for her. She sometimes had a tough time even standing, let alone keeping up with the house, the kids, and other motherly duties. Yet, she still went out of her way to do things for me.
I on the other hand, did not do the little things in return. Every once in a while, I'd rub her feet, or get her a drink if I was getting up for one. But I would take her and the kids out a lot, to dinner, movies, or just to the park to fly kites. Yes, we actually flew kites at the park. Most of the time she would sit an watch me and the kids though. She was in a lot of pain most of the time, but hid it well.
After a while, her habit of doing these little things became expected. It became weird when she didn't do them. I was getting spoiled, I was not returning the little favors. I was buying gifts, but not really doing anything for her. My work schedule was partially to blame, but if I had tried, I could have found all the time I needed to do those little things that count. She eventually started doubting my love. I didn't understand why. I thought because I was there, paying bills, buying gifts, etc, that, that was enough for her to see that I loved her. It wasn't. At least when you combined it with my busy schedule, settled mood, and comfort zone life style. I had eventually become boring, stopped taking them out, stopped flying kites. I was in a comfort zone, and my casual little things became none. Her little things kept going. Eventually, they started to become less common.
We needed a fresh start. We noticed our life together had become a boring routine. So, we packed everything up, and moved to a new city. Instead of some crappy apartment with tiled floor throughout, we moved into a real house. A tiny blue one behind the bulk of the houses on our street. It had a small yard, and wooded area in the back. It was our first real house. We didn't buy it, but to us, it was a real home. The excitement didn't last long. I eventually went back into the same routine of working too much and being moody when I was home. Everything had changed, yet it remained the same. Trying to figure out what the problem was, I came to the conclusion that it was my job. After all, it was the only thing about our life that was really the same as it was before. So, I found a new job, one that paid significantly less, but gave me less stress and more time at home.
The new job did not help. I was still moody. She was becoming less and less happy with our life. Eventually, we became more roommates then a loving couple. Eventually, she decided to throw in the towel, and soon after, she was gone. She moved several states away. I was left there, in that tiny blue house, alone. In my misery I did a lot of soul searching. I eventually learned the truth of what made our relationship sour. It was my fault, not my jobs, not where we lived. It was me. It was my lack of activity within the relationship. I did everything to maintain a house, paid rent, bought food, provided entertainment. But I did nothing to maintain the relationship I had with her. I also noticed how she struggled to keep it going. How she showed patience, understanding, and love. But, eventually, she just let go, and allowed it to sour too.
I asked myself what made me so moody, so boring, so unloving to the one woman in the world I had ever loved. It wasn't hard to find the answer, but it was difficult to accept it. I was selfish. I took, and took more then I ever really gave to the relationship. She gave and gave until she couldn't give anymore. I did not do those little things she did that made me know she loved me without ever having to hear her say it. I told her all the time, but I never showed her. I lost her to my own selfishness. Then I lost my independence, which soon stole my dignity. She even stayed my friend after she had left. But eventually I screwed that up too.
From all this I learned what love is, what it truly is. It is those sandwiches, foot rubs, and trips to the park. It is those nights of listening to someone complain about their bad day, just so they can let it out. It is that encouraging the other to do what they should, even if it means doing something they do not want to do.
In the end, I finally was able to show her how much I really loved her. I stopped calling her, knowing she wouldn't answer anyway, but more because I wanted her to know that I still loved her enough to sacrifice my desire to have her in my life for her desire to just move on with hers. Love is, not calling when your not wanted.
Yes, I know, it doesn't end in tragedy. I know it doesn't entertain. But that is my story of how I learned that it is the little things we do for each other that really matter, that really show love. It is those little things that show love, that help keep a relationship strong.
There is a good note to the end of this story. That note is, that I actually learned this lesson, and keep it with me. Yes, it makes me sad at times, to remember her, think about her, but I cannot let go of what she taught me for the sake of my own heart. By keeping this lesson with me, I know that when I finally get my life back together, my dignity back, and my independence, I will be ready. I will be ready to find someone, and show them that I know how to love. That lucky woman in my future will have never experienced what I am now capable of. But like I said, I still have to pull myself back together first.
She wasn't the most physically attractive woman on the planet. She was certainly not rich in money either. But I loved her more then I have ever loved anyone before, and since. I know this to be true because before I met her, I really didn't know how to love; that is one of the many things she taught me.
She was disabled, had become so by way of a terrible car accident. She was in the hospital for months before she was well enough to be released. I knew her before the accident, had worked with her briefly at a retail store. She worked in the section with the towels and other bathroom accessories. I worked in electronics. We had a lot in common, as far as interests went. She liked to read fantasy novels, stories of daring knights and powerful wizards. So did I. So, we became fast friends. Then, she left the store, and I saw her very little afterward, and eventually not at all.
It was through a mutual friend that I had heard about her accident, but it was not until she had recovered some. I found out what hospital she was in and decided to pay her a visit. I brought her flowers in a crumbled glass vase. You could tell she at least liked the vase. We talked for a couple hours, then I had to go. I wasn't able to visit her again.
A few months after that visit, she came by the store. She did not get out of the car because she was unable to use her legs, let alone walk. She was embarrassed by this and being bound to a wheel chair. So, I went outside and said hi, talked for a few minutes, then got back to work.
One day, a few months later, my relief was a half hour late getting in. I was upset by this to say the least, because it was slowly turning into habit. As soon as they arrived I rushed to turn in my cash drawer and be on my way. While driving home I saw a lone woman pushing herself down a busy road in a wheel chair. I watched her as I passed by and saw that it was my friend. So, I stopped and offered her a ride, which she graciously accepted, fussing over how embarrassed she was. She gave me directions to her house and as we drove, caught up on what we've been up to. The thought of how I would have missed her that day if my relief had showed up on time did not escape my notice.
After dropping her off, I started to go home. She had given me her phone number so we could keep in touch, and I promised I would call. On my way home, I got lost. After two stops for directions, I finally made it to where I knew where I was. Unfortunately, I couldn't remember how to get back to my friend's house, but I had her phone number, so no big loss.
A couple days went by and on my day off, I decided to call her. A man answered the phone, and when I asked for her, he seemed bothered by it, and told me she wasn't home. (I found out later that he liked her, but they had never dated, he was a friend of her mother's who was staying with her to help with her two kids). I asked him to tell her I called, and he said he would. I never heard back from her. So, I assumed the man was her boyfriend and didn't want to call again, risking upsetting the balance of their relationship.
Life went on, I found a new job making a lot more money, working for a rent to own furniture store. I liked it because I was able to leave the store and deliver furniture every day, all day. One day, after about a year of working there, I was on a delivery run with a coworker. I missed a turn so pulled into a parking area for an assisted living apartment alcove. Something about it seemed familiar, but I attributed that to having delivered furniture to people living in such places. Then I saw her, my friend, sitting outside in front of one of the houses reading.
No time schedule or coworker protests could have kept me in that truck. I jumped out and nearly ran up to her. She didn't recognize me at first, but about ten feet or so from her she did, and then she stood up! I was surprised by that, and that is when I noticed she was sitting in a lawn chair, not a wheel chair. The last year had gone by so fast, I hardly recognized how long it had been since I last saw her. We talked for about ten minutes, and exchanged phone numbers. I told her now that I know the area a lot better, I would not fail to visit. I did not fail to notice that had I made my turn, I would have not run into her again. Coincidence started to look like fate after a while....
I stopped by for a surprise visit on my next day off. She was shocked that I had actually showed up. We spent the day together, I got reacquainted with her kids, who had grown quite a bit since I last saw them. Over the next few weeks, we grew very close, and ended up dating. That turned into being in a relationship, which eventually ended up us living together.
Living with her, I was a lot closer to work, so I would come home for lunch. Eventually it came to me calling before I left work, and she would have a sandwich made before I got there. She made the best sandwiches. No, I never expected her to make them for me, but she did it anyway. When I'd get home from a particularly rough or busy day, she would rub my shoulders. There were even times she would rub my sore feet; after I washed them of course. All the while, listening to me complain about my rough day. Imagine that, being disabled, barely able to walk, listening to how long someone had to be on their feet...
On my days off, she would still make me sandwiches, even offer to make them when she wasn't making one for herself! She would rub my shoulders on the days off too. After being treated so well, I finally asked her why she did these things, when I was perfectly capable of doing them myself. After all, she was still disabled. She said it was because she loved me. I was thinking that it should be me doing these things for her. She sometimes had a tough time even standing, let alone keeping up with the house, the kids, and other motherly duties. Yet, she still went out of her way to do things for me.
I on the other hand, did not do the little things in return. Every once in a while, I'd rub her feet, or get her a drink if I was getting up for one. But I would take her and the kids out a lot, to dinner, movies, or just to the park to fly kites. Yes, we actually flew kites at the park. Most of the time she would sit an watch me and the kids though. She was in a lot of pain most of the time, but hid it well.
After a while, her habit of doing these little things became expected. It became weird when she didn't do them. I was getting spoiled, I was not returning the little favors. I was buying gifts, but not really doing anything for her. My work schedule was partially to blame, but if I had tried, I could have found all the time I needed to do those little things that count. She eventually started doubting my love. I didn't understand why. I thought because I was there, paying bills, buying gifts, etc, that, that was enough for her to see that I loved her. It wasn't. At least when you combined it with my busy schedule, settled mood, and comfort zone life style. I had eventually become boring, stopped taking them out, stopped flying kites. I was in a comfort zone, and my casual little things became none. Her little things kept going. Eventually, they started to become less common.
We needed a fresh start. We noticed our life together had become a boring routine. So, we packed everything up, and moved to a new city. Instead of some crappy apartment with tiled floor throughout, we moved into a real house. A tiny blue one behind the bulk of the houses on our street. It had a small yard, and wooded area in the back. It was our first real house. We didn't buy it, but to us, it was a real home. The excitement didn't last long. I eventually went back into the same routine of working too much and being moody when I was home. Everything had changed, yet it remained the same. Trying to figure out what the problem was, I came to the conclusion that it was my job. After all, it was the only thing about our life that was really the same as it was before. So, I found a new job, one that paid significantly less, but gave me less stress and more time at home.
The new job did not help. I was still moody. She was becoming less and less happy with our life. Eventually, we became more roommates then a loving couple. Eventually, she decided to throw in the towel, and soon after, she was gone. She moved several states away. I was left there, in that tiny blue house, alone. In my misery I did a lot of soul searching. I eventually learned the truth of what made our relationship sour. It was my fault, not my jobs, not where we lived. It was me. It was my lack of activity within the relationship. I did everything to maintain a house, paid rent, bought food, provided entertainment. But I did nothing to maintain the relationship I had with her. I also noticed how she struggled to keep it going. How she showed patience, understanding, and love. But, eventually, she just let go, and allowed it to sour too.
I asked myself what made me so moody, so boring, so unloving to the one woman in the world I had ever loved. It wasn't hard to find the answer, but it was difficult to accept it. I was selfish. I took, and took more then I ever really gave to the relationship. She gave and gave until she couldn't give anymore. I did not do those little things she did that made me know she loved me without ever having to hear her say it. I told her all the time, but I never showed her. I lost her to my own selfishness. Then I lost my independence, which soon stole my dignity. She even stayed my friend after she had left. But eventually I screwed that up too.
From all this I learned what love is, what it truly is. It is those sandwiches, foot rubs, and trips to the park. It is those nights of listening to someone complain about their bad day, just so they can let it out. It is that encouraging the other to do what they should, even if it means doing something they do not want to do.
In the end, I finally was able to show her how much I really loved her. I stopped calling her, knowing she wouldn't answer anyway, but more because I wanted her to know that I still loved her enough to sacrifice my desire to have her in my life for her desire to just move on with hers. Love is, not calling when your not wanted.
Yes, I know, it doesn't end in tragedy. I know it doesn't entertain. But that is my story of how I learned that it is the little things we do for each other that really matter, that really show love. It is those little things that show love, that help keep a relationship strong.
There is a good note to the end of this story. That note is, that I actually learned this lesson, and keep it with me. Yes, it makes me sad at times, to remember her, think about her, but I cannot let go of what she taught me for the sake of my own heart. By keeping this lesson with me, I know that when I finally get my life back together, my dignity back, and my independence, I will be ready. I will be ready to find someone, and show them that I know how to love. That lucky woman in my future will have never experienced what I am now capable of. But like I said, I still have to pull myself back together first.
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